She said her name was "party"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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