me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
be right there i have to get my cape
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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