What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
