Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
