I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
