Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
