I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
