Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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