I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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