Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this will be a night to untag.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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