My sheets look like a crime scene.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
