So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
