just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
