Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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