the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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