Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm getting married
To pizza
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
