If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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