remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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