I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
