I hope mine doesn't look like that
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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