Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
