Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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