Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
