just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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