i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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