Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
