If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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