You work out of a Hotel?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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