What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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