oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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