It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
