I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
