We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
