My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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