Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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