Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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