My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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