it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
