Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
