yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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