Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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