she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
