I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
