Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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