Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
