How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
porn star boner night. come get it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
