Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
