My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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