Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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