I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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