What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can't put those talents on a resume
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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