M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
