this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We need to get me chipped asap
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
